Wedding Invites Etiquette
While most couples would agree that invites are obviously an important element of wedding planning, many over look the fact that your invites, are in fact, the start of your wedding design! They introduce your guests to the theme and vibe of your wedding day. If you are working with a paper goods designer (which we would highly recommend because they can continue your theme onto any other signage, menus, or even cocktail napkins), then you may need to keep in mind the design turnaround timeline. (Listed Below)
Find designer about 2 months prior to any send-out date
1st proof takes 1-2 weeks
All paper goods will then be designed around your invite with your final proof ready about 1-2 weeks after
Printing time takes another 1-2 weeks
Shipping Time takes 1-2 weeks
Then, you need to ship to all your guests!
When Do I Send Everything Out?
Save the Dates need to go out 4-6 months out if its local, 8-12 months if its a destination wedding
With destination weddings, the further away it is, the more notice you give them.
For example, if you expect everyone to travel to Italy, let them know at least a year out so they can start to gather the funds. But, if it’s only a state away, you can let them know about 8 months out.
Invites need to go out 6-8 weeks before, or 3 months prior if its a destination wedding
RSVPs are due 2-3 weeks prior to your wedding so you can give an accurate headcount to your caterer.
This also gives you plenty of time for follow-up, in case any guests have yet to respond.
Who Do I Invite?
Immediate Family (Mom, Dad, Siblings, Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins)
Family Friends
Personal Friends
Work Friends
Anyone who comes to your engagement party, wedding shower, and/or rehearsal dinner should be invited to your wedding. The guests have been celebrating you the entire time (and, let’s be honest, investing in your partnership with gifts and presents). It is considered rude to not return the favor in letting them celebrate on your actual wedding day and providing them with a meal and drink.
How Can I Specify Who Is/Is Not Invited?
The Smith Family = everyone in the household addressed (parents and children)
Jane and John Smith = only those specifically listed
This is the best way to invite family with kids you do not want in attendance
Jane Smith + Guest = indicates to the addressee that they may bring a guest
However, don’t be shy if you don’t want people to bring a guest. It can add up and you are by no means required to pay for people you don’t know!
How Should I Word The Invite?
List who is hosting the wedding first
One set of parents hosting
Ex 1. Mr & Mrs. Michael Smith
Ex 2. Mr. Michael Smith and Mrs. Sarah Williams
Both set of parents hosting (for different sex couples, the bride’s family goes first)
Ex 1. Mr. & Mrs Michael Smith and Mr. & Mrs. Tom Doe
Ex 2. Michael and Sarah Williams together with Tom and Darlene Doe
The couple and family(s) are hosting
Together with their/our families/parents
Couple only is hosting
You can skip the host line or simply open the invite with something like “with great joy,” “with open hearts,” or “together with full hearts.”
“Request the honor of your presence" = reserved for ceremonies taking place at a house of worship
“Request the pleasure of your company" = used for ceremonies not taking place in religious setting.
Names should be listed in full with the bride written first, or alphabetically by last name in same-sex weddings
REGISTRY, WEDDING WEBSITES, HOTEL/DIRECTIONAL INFO, etc all go on a SEPARATE informational card. Do not put these on your invite! (It takes up room and in the case of gifts/monetary presents, its’ considered rude to put it on the actual invite).
General Tips
ALWAYS put a stamp on the return RSVP envelope
Include a dress code. Guests will appreciate it!
Make sure to include meal choice options, if applicable, on the RSVP card.
If you have someone bringing a guest you don’t like, please remember you can always say NO! This is YOUR wedding and you shouldn’t feel put out.
